Sranje kot epistemološka kategorija (s posebnim dodatkom o usrani nadvladi tega sveta)

Predvolilni čas je pričakovano postregel z intenzivnejšo razpravo o tem, kaj je laž in kaj resnica, jasno posledico tega, da poskušajo politiki in javnost najti lažnivce in, sicer bistveno manjkrat, celo resnicoljubneže. Laganje je pač moralni prekršek s še kakšno implikacijo, ki ga radi kaznujemo, volitve pa so pripraven čas za takšen obred. Z razpravo o tem ni prav nič narobe, takšnega »licitiranja« je pri nas celo premalo, kakorkoli že nas lahko neuglajeno psovanje in lahkotno etiketiranje odbijajoče moti, še zlasti, če prihaja s strani lažnivca (če takšen druge obtožuje, da lažejo), če je slabo argumentirano ali če je samo sebi namen. Novinarji si bistveno premalokrat drznejo iskati moralne prestopke in jim pritakniti prava imena, kar verjetno po svoje dokazuje spetost novinarjev s politiko, žal pa pripomore tudi k slabši presoji prejemnikov informacij in k nižjim javnim moralnim kriterijem. Povsem legitimno je potemtakem, če stranke in javnosti hitijo državljane prepričevati, katere politične opcije si zaslužijo našo pozornost, eno izmed meril pa je tu zanesljivo kredibilnost protaganistov. Laž je relativno enostavno odkriti in če bi se poglobili vanjo, bi videli, da jo za takšno »dela« njena zavezanost resnici. Kdor laže, ta ve, da ne govori resnice in kogar obtožujemo, da laže, ga eo ipso obtožujemo, da to ve.

Lažnivost ima več obrazov in večkrat jo iz ožjega, točno definiranega področja, širimo dalje. Se je stranka, ki ni izpolnila predvolilnih obljub, zlagala? V strogem pomenu ne. Je predsednik vlade, ki je svoj govor prepisal pri svojem angleškem kolegu, s svojim plagiatom lagal? Morebiti kasneje, ko je to zanikal, ne pa s samim prepisovanjem. Precizna raba takega poimenovanja ne bi dovolila. Vsi primeri laganja v politiki pač niso tako enostavni, kot je tisti antološki z zanikanjem Billa Clintona glede razmerja z Monico Lewinsky, ki se je kasneje izkazalo za resnično. Na sledi takšnim mejnim primerom je ameriški filozof Harry G. Frankfurt že pred debelimi dvajsetimi leti razvil nov koncept, ki ga je povzel v leta 2005 izdani knjižici z naslovom O sranju. Sicer uspešnica je seveda, tudi zaradi enostavnosti teze in nadvse priljubljenega označevalca, bila deležna številnih polemik, njena osnovna poanta pa je zelo prepoznavna – ob laži, pravi avtor, bi morali upoštevati še nek drug, bistveno hujši moralni prekršek, ki je od nje povsem avtonomen. Sranje (angleško bullshit), kot mu pravi, se od laži in resnice razlikuje prav po stopnji vednosti in je obenem tako zelo navzoče, da nas kar sili k podrobnejši razpravi.

Kaj je torej sranje, če odmislimo, da bi se kdo utegnil, prevajalsko kakopak, navduševati nad »drekom«? Predstavljajte si, da kupujete rabljeni avto in vaš, denimo mladoletni prodajalec, vam seveda natvezi, da je garažiran, od prvega lastnika, vozila pa ga je starejša oseba. To je storil, čeprav zgodovine vozila, ki ste ga kasneje kupili, sploh ni poznal. Po Frankfurtu se vam ni enostavno zlagal, čeprav je otipljivo jasno, da vas je naplahtal. To je storil, ker ga preprosto ni zanimalo, kaj je res in kaj ne. Njegov cilj je bil le en: prodati avto. No, sranje je tako rekoč kulturni problem. Njegova prevlada se v družbeni sferi kaže na tri načine. Prvič, ljudje so velikokrat prisiljeni govoriti o rečeh, ki jih sploh ne poznajo. Drugič, ljudje čutijo potrebo, da imajo mnenje o stvareh, ne da bi poznali osnovne podatke o njih. In tretjič, nadvse razširjeni dvom v zanesljivost informacij (zaradi njihove množičnosti, agresivnosti podajanja, različnosti in »uravnoteženosti«) zvišuje občutek tega, da se kopljemo v sranju. Frankurt izpostavlja napačno vednost, samoprevaro in prisiljenost imeti mnenje. V takšni atmosferi ljudje raje cenijo avtentičnost kot resnico. Svet je poln sranja, zato kriteriji resnice padejo in kar nam ostane, je odkritost, ki jo čislamo kot nekakšno iskrenost in razumemo kot avtentično držo. V slovenskih razmerah takšno ideologijo najlepše izrablja prvak nacionalistov: vsi so pokvarjeni, levi in desni, nihče ni zares iskren, le on je, zagotavljajo njegovi volivci. Tako odkrit in pošten je, da edini pove, kar misli. V tem smislu je avtentičen. Sredi kupov sranja ste torej menda lahko moralni že zato, ker se (navidezno) na vse požvižgate.

Razmik med resnico in sranjem je tu prepoznaven; po Frankfurtu je nemogoče, da bi lagali, ne da bi vedeli, kaj je resnica, za sranje ta ni pomembna. Če se torej vprašamo, koliko tega ve G. W. Bush, ko recimo zatrjuje, da je Irak po okupaciji demokratiziral in tam uspešno končal svojo misijo, jasnega odgovora ni. V angleško govorečem področju bi lahko odvrnili: Prav vseeno mi je! (I don't give a shit.) Ta vseenost dokazuje, da je, v razliki do »preprostega« lažnivca, ki poskuša zakriti neko resnico, »sralec« nekdo, ki ga realnost sploh ne zanima. Namesto nje si ustvarja svoje peskovnike gnoja, v katerih preigrava svoje igre, in tako kot obstajajo lažnivci in njihove žrtve, obstajajo tudi sralci in njihove žrtve. Prvi ustvarjajo svoje peskovnike, drugi so povabljeni, da se na njih igrajo. Ko gre na volitve, bo pristaš sranja razmišljal takole: »Ne poznam vseh dejstev, ne zaupam nikomur, ne zaupam medijem, toda tale X je videti simpatičen. Torej bom glasoval zanj.« Težava seveda ni le v tem, da bo zaveden, kajti sranje je že zdavnaj postalo entropično družbeno stanje, ki se povečuje v politiki, medijih, medsebojnih odnosih; nekatere politike ga naravnost spodbujajo in ni težko uganiti, katere. V tem smislu je nemogoče reči, da smo zavedeni, ker stojimo sredi sranja. Se je pa treba vprašati, kdo ga ustvarja in na kakšne načine s svojim ravnanjem nanj pristajamo.

Eno izmed področij, ki kliče po obračunu z njim, je gotovo duhovnost. A tu avtor ni nič manj neizprosen, kritizira načine našega iskanja »odvezanosti« realnosti. Ko govori o psihosralcih, vseh prodajalcih megle osebne sreče in najdevanja samega sebe, Frankfurt kritizira iskrenost – iskati svoj pravi Jaz, srečo in samega sebe je po sebi sranje, ker naravnost zahteva razcep med nami in stvarnostjo. Je, če banaliziramo, način bežanja pred sranjem, ki smo ga naredili tam zunaj. Četudi polemike z avtorjem teze še niso zaključene, bi naš posmeh tovrstnemu znanstvenemu disputu bi prehiter. No, velikokrat je uspešnost kakšnega koncepta odvisna od njegove prepričljivosti - le kdo ni pripravljen reči, da se mu sranje venomer dogaja?

Prvič objavljeno v Večeru, 3. avgusta 2008

Boris Vezjak

P.S. Da je epistemološka, ontološka, filozofska, religiozna taksonomija tega sveta res vsebinsko usrana, dokazuje sposojeni poskus klasifikacije spodaj:

Christianity

Shit happens to sinners.

Islam

Shit happens if it is the will of God.

Astrology

Shit is written in the stars.

Catholicism

If shit happens, you deserve it.

Protestantism

Shit happens, so let 's make it worthwhile.

Lutheranism

When shit happens, change the subject.

Calvinism

Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Anglicanism

More shit happens in Rome.

Presbyterianism

This shit was bound to happen.

Episcopalism

It 's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

Methodism

It 's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve it with grape juice.

Congregationalism

Shit that happens to one person is just as good as that happens to another.

Hasidism

Shit never happens the same way twice.

Orthodox Judaism

So shit happens, already!

Samaritanism

Your shit is my shit.

Zoroastrianism

Shit happens half of the time.

Jainism

All shit happens to be alive.

Sikhism

Leave our shit alone.

Ba'hai

We are the shit that happens.

Sufism

The wise man has other things on his mind when shit happens.

Mithra

Shit shall continue to happen until the return of Mithras.

Platonism

There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.

Animism

Some shit happier than others.

Baptism

It 's not too bad if shit happens just before washing.

Anabaptism

It 's not so bad if shit happens, just clean up afterwards.

Mennonitism

Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it 's OK.

Greek Orthodox Church

Shit happens, usually in three's.

Russian Orthodox Church

Do not think shit does not happen.

Seventh Day Adventism

No shit shall happen on Saturday.

Televangelism

Send more shit.

Evangelism

If shit happens, pass it on.

Unitarianism

All shit that happens, is one.

Universalism

All that happens, is one shit.

Christian Science

Shit happening is all in your mind.

Secular Humanism

Shit evolves.

Gnosticism

If shit happens, it 's a secret.

Theosophy

You don't know half of the shit that happens.

Polytheism

Shit happens for a variety of reasons.

Occultism

Sh, it happens.

Mysticism

Some weird shit is going on.

Shamanism

Holy shit!

Quakers

Let us not quarrel over this shit.

Amish

Shit happening is good for the soil.

Deism

God did not make this shit happen.

Sophism

If shit happens, don't step in it.

Solopsism

If it doesn't happen, it can't be shit.

Utopianism

This shit doesn't smell at all.

Darwinism

This shit was once food.

Creationism

No shit happened before Sunday 23 October 4004 BC.

Puritanism

S*** can happen all day as long as you don't call it that.

Fundamentalism

Shit happens from within.

Chauvinism

No matter how shit, we happen.

Despotism

Let only one shit happen.

Feminism

Shit is male as it happens.

Nationalism

Shit happens in the global village.

Patriotism

Our shit happens better than yours.

Fascism

Shit happens right on time.

Marxism

Shit has nothing to lose but to happen.

Stalinism

In five years, shit will happen on an industrial scale.

Communism

Let 's share this shit.

Capitalism

That 's my shit.

Socialism

The same shit happens to everyone.

Anarchism

This shit is going to hit the fan.

Commercialism

If shit happens, sell it.

Head-in-the-sandism

If there is no shit, it doesn't happen.

Conservatism

Shit doesn't happen like it used to.

Opportunism

It would be silly for shit not to happen.

Idolism

Let 's bronze this shit.

Purism

If shit must happen, let only shit happen.

Idealism

Be prepared that all shit will happen, eventually.

Apathism

Who gives a shit?

Freudianism

Shit that happens is like sex.

Behaviorism

Shit is conditioned to happen.

Empiricism

Shit only happens if I see it happen.

Relativism

Every shit happens differently.

Stoicism

This shit doesn't bother me.

Epicurism

Shit happens after a good meal.

Impressionism

From a distance, this shit looks like a garden.

Expressionism

Excrement comes and goes.

Cubism

Happen shits.

Minimalism

More than enough shit happens as it does.

Existentialism

What is this shit, anyway?

Objectivism

Shit happens to happen.

Individualism

Let 's make shit happen so at least we know who to blame.

Populism

If shit happens, silence the perpetrators.

Progressivism

Less shit happens every day, relatively speaking.

Egalitarianism

Shit and no shit happen both.

Orwellianism

Big shit is happening to you.

Mormonism

This shit is going to happen again.

Scientology

If shit happens, see ‘Dianetics’, page 157.

Jehovah’s Witnesses

Shit has been prophesied and is imminent, and only the righteous shall survive its happening.

Hare Krishna

Shit happens, rama, rama.

Moonism

Only really happy shit happens.

Jesuitism

How can we know if shit happens and nobody hears it?

Mesmerism

Sleep and no shit will happen.

Rastafarianism

Let 's smoke this shit.

Navajo

Shit happens in the wind and best in the shade.

Hopi

Corn fertilizer happens.

Maya

Shit happens in cycles.

Inca

Only holy shit happens.

Aztec

If shit happens, the Gods want to see more blood.

New Age

All shit is one shit.

Holism

When shit happens, it happens everywhere at once.

Hitchhikerism

If shit happens, the answer is 42.

Ecology

If organic shit happens, it 's OK.

Cannibalism

Eat only what does not happen.

Vegetarianism

If it happens to shit, don't eat it.

Hedonism

There 's nothing like a good shit happening!

Materialism

Whoever dies with the most shit, wins.

Fetishism

If shit happens, go for more.

Egotism

My shit happens.

Narcissism

I love this shit!

Cynicism

But of course shit happens.

Fatalism

Oh shit, it 's going to happen.

Meliorism

Shit is happening now, but it will soon cease to happen.

Futurism

More shit will happen sooner or later.

Realism

There is shit, as it happens.

Surrealism

Other shit could also happen.

Pragmaticism

Deal with shit one day at a time.

Skepticism

Maybe shit happens, but then again, maybe not.

Liberalism

Shit has a right to happen.

Pacifism

Give shit a chance to happen.

Hippie

Make happenings, not shit.

Punk

Never mind what happens.

Druidism

Shit happens around the Sacred Oak.

Satanism

!SNEPPAH TIHS

Voodoo

Shit happens from me to you.

Witchcraft

Mix this shit together and it will happen.

Wicca

If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.

Online

This shit never happens in real life.

Eschatology

You think shit happens now, you just wait.

Escapism

If shit happens, don't look back.

Atheism

I can't believe this shit!

Agnosticism

I don't know shit.

Nihilism

No shit.

Aristotle

To shit is to happen.

We are what we repeatedly do.

Aesop

The smaller the shit, the more it happens.

The smaller the mind, the greater the conceit.

Lao Tzu

The shit that happens is not the real shit.

The Tao that can be named is not the real Tao.

Socrates

Thou shouldst shit to happen, not happen to shit.

Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat.

Demosthenes

All shit is vain and dirty unless it happens.

All speech is vain and empty unless it be accompanied by action. 1

Julius Caesar

Veni, defecato, vici. I came, I shitted, I happened.

Veni, vidi, vici. I came, I saw, I conquered.

Ovid

In nova feces tauri mutatas. The same old bullshit happens over and over.

In nova fert animus mutatas dicere formas corpora. My mind leads me to tell of forms changed into new bodies. (opening lines of the Metamorphoses)

John

In the beginning was the shit, and the shit was where it happened, and the shit was what happened.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Michelangelo

I saw the angel in the shit and carved until it happened.

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. 1

Niccolo Machiavelli

It is better to shit than to happen, if you cannot do both.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

Desiderius Erasmus

Shit is driven out by more shit. What happens is undone by what happens.

A nail is driven out by another nail. Habit is overcome by habit.

Galileo Galilei

They say shit never happened. But it is still happening.

Epur si muove. And yet she moves. (after his formal abjuration of heliocentricity)

Isaac Newton

Shit equals mass times the happening.

F = m × a

Edmund Burke

The only thing necessary for shit to happen is for a man to eat.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

S. T. Coleridge

In Xanadu shit happened and a stately pleasure-shit at that.

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure-dome decree. 1

René Descartes

Cogito ergo excreto. I think, therefore I shit.

Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am.

René Descartes

I shit, therefore I sit.

Voltaire

Every man is guilty of all the shit that didn't happen.

Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do.

Louis XIV

La merde, c 'est moi. The shit, it' s me.

L' État, c' est moi. The state is me. (13 April 1655) 1

Napoleon Bonaparte

From the heights of these happenings, forty centuries shit down on us.

From the heights of these pyramids, forty centuries look down on us. (Speech to his troops in Egypt , 21 July 1798)

Théophile Gautier

La merde pour la merde. Shit for the sake of what happens.

L' art pour l' art. Art for art's sake.

Robert Browning

Less shit is more happening.

Less is more. 1

Henry David Thoreau

Shit does not change; it happens.

Things do not change; we change. (Walden, chapter 18)

Karl Marx

Happenings of all countries, shit!

Proletarier aller Länder, vereinigt euch! Working men of all countries, unite! (The Communist Manifesto, 1848)

Friedrich Nietzsche

There are no farts, only happenings.

There are no facts, only interpretations.

George Washington

I cannot tell a lie: shit happened.

I cannot tell a lie. (Anecdotic)

Abraham Lincoln

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this shit a new happening

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation (Gettysburg Address)

Lewis Carroll

Why, sometimes I've had as many as six impossible shits happen before breakfast.

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. 1

Mark Twain

It's not the size of the shit in the dog, but the size of the happening in the shit.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. 1

Thomas Edison

Mary had shit happening.

Mary had a little lamb. (First words recorded on his phonograph)

Oscar Wilde

A cynic is a man who knows the price of shit but the value of what happens.

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.

Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your shit when all about you are losing theirs and aiming it at you

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you (If openeing lines, 1910)

J. R. R. Tolkien

All that is shit does not happen; not all that happens is shit.

All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost. (The Fellowship of the Ring, 1954)

Adial E. Stevenson

What counts is not the shit in your life but the happening in your years.

What counts is not the years in your life but the life in your years.

Wallace Stevens

After the final happening there comes a shit.

After the final no there comes a yes.

Louis Henri Sullivan

Shit follows whatever happens.

Form follows function.

Buckminster Fuller

Sometimes I think shit happens. Sometimes I think it doesn't. Either way, the smell is breathtaking.

Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering.

Gertrude Stein

Shit is shit is shit is happening.

Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.

Werner Heisenberg

Some shit happened, but we 're not quite sure where or how much.

Albert Einstein

Shit is relative to its mass times the speed at which it happens squared.

E = m × c²

Alfred Kinsey

There is no remedy for shit but more happenings.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

Mahatma Gandhi

First they ignore shit, then they laugh at shit, then they fight shit, then shit happens.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

Winston Churchill

If you are going through shit, keep going.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Mao Zedong

Let a hundred shits happen.

Let a hundred flowers bloom.

George Orwell

War is peace. Ignorance is strength. Shit is happening.

War is Peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.

John F. Kennedy

Ask not what your country can do for shit, ask what shit can happen.

Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.

Martin Luther King

where they will not be judged by the color of their shit but by the consequence of what happens.

A nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character

Neil Armstrong

It 's one small shit for a man, but a giant heap for mankind.

It 's one small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind. (First words spoken on the moon)

Arthur C. Clarke

Any sufficiently advanced shit is indistinguishable from what can never happen.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Richard Nixon

Shit didn't happen, and if it did I wasn't there.

I 'm not a crook.

Ronald Reagan

Well, I do believe that shit happened. I was just taking a nap.

George Bush

Read my lips: no more shit!

Read my lips: no new taxes!

Bill Clinton

Shit happened, but I did not inhale.

I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.

George W. Bush

Like I say, shit happens.

Al Gore

Shit happens big time.

Hamlet

To happen or not to happen, that is the shit.

To be or not to be, that is the question.

James Bond

My game is shit, happening shit.

My name is Bond, James Bond.

James T. Kirk

To boldly go where no shit happened before!

To boldly go where no man has gone before. (William Shatner in the Star Trek series)

Maria von Trapp

The hills are alive with the shit that happens.

The hills are alive with the sound of music. (Julie Andrews in the opening lines of The Sound of Music, 1965)

The Godfather

I 'll give you shit you can't refuse.

I 'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. (Marlon Brando in The Godfather, 1972) ♩

The Terminator

Shit 'll be back.

I 'll be back. (Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator, 1984)

Highlander

Shit can happen only once.

There can be only one. (Christopher Lambert in Highlander, 1986)

Bill Haley

Happen around the shit

Rock around the clock

Louis Armstrong

What a happy shit

What a wonderful world

Elvis Presley

Don't you shit on my blue suede shoes

Don't you step on my blue suede shoes

Marvin Gaye

Is shit happening

What 's going on

John Lennon

Let it happen

Let it be

Mick Jagger

Shit is on my side

Time is on my side ♩

Lou Reed

Walk where shit happens

Walk on the wild side

Bob Dylan

The shit, my friend, is happenin' with the wind.

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.

Paul Simon

There must be fifty ways for shit to happen.

There must be fifty ways to leave a lover.

Tina Turner

Deep shit happens high.

River deep, mountain high

Joni Mitchell

You don't know shit till it 's happened.

You don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Gloria Gaynor

Shit will continue to happen

I will survive

Freddie Mercury

Crazy little shit happened

Crazy little thing called love

David Bowie

Shit happening

Space oddity

Pink Floyd

Wish shit had never happened

Wish you were here

Madonna

Like shit never happened

Like a virgin

Bono

Shit (In shame)